Finally a due date - and everyone was off. And BIG NEWS...

So much to start with and no idea how to begin. Yesterday (the 26th) was a day full of surprises. Surprises are good though. I thought as I awoke that the day would be a simple one. My usual checkup followed by a race to work and then back home again. But was I ever wrong.

Week 19 Doctor App't - Or so I thought
Of all days, Rob had to work this day. I had told him he didn't need to come with me to the app't since it should be rather stationary, but he insisted. It was, afterall, a 9:45am app't and he didn't have to be at work (in Elizabeth in sweltering heat outside DJ'ing) till 12pm. We would be fine right? So we get there and we wait. And wait. And wait. They did not take me till 10:15am. I was livid. Rob was calm. Who knows why they were busy - but they were.

I walk in with Rob behind me. Jump on the scale, and weigh in at 125lbs. I've gained 10lbs since the start of this pregnancy. Head over to the bathroom to pee in a cup while simultaneously laughing at Rob who asked the nurse permission to weigh himself. Get back in the room and wait. Now, typically, I'm seen by Liz, the practitioner but today it was Dr. B himself making the appearance. He shakes hands with Rob and proceeds to dump goop all over my stomach to hear the heartbeat. Swirls the Doppler (the thing that allows us to hear the heatbeat for those who don't know) around and we hear the beats. Now Dr. B is cool. I like him. Rob and I describe him as a very 'efficient' doctor. That's the best way to describe him. Very straight to the point but with happy eyes. He states AFP blood test came out good. No worries. I was looking good. All looks good. GOOD. So he proceeds to whip out a measuring tape. Takes a measurement from my pubic bone to the top of my uterus and looks at the measurement curiously and then picks up my file.

Dr. B
You haven't had your ultrasound yet?
Me
No, I'm scheduled to go in August after coming back from Florida
Dr. B
August? Why not sooner then that? You need an ultrasound done
Me
Well St. Barnabas was really busy and the earliest they could fit me in was in August
Dr. B
St. Barnabas...who told you to go there?
Me
Liz **that's the practitioner**
Dr. B
Oh no **leaves the room to speak to liz and returns** We're going to get one done for you today. You have time today right....

Can we say insanity? I swear Rob and I were just looking at each other in confusion. We end up getting booked for some ultrasound at a local place at 12pm. Rob has Albert cover for him at Elizabeth for an hour...

~~~LONG STORY SHORT~~~

First place we go to didn't have my app't. Wanted me to wait till there was time (earliest was 'possibly' 1:30 but no guarantees and Rob and I left - he went to work and I got an app't at another place at 4:30pm)

Level II Ultrasound
Fast forward to 4:30pm app't. I was scared. I told as much to Rob. I'm paranoid I guess, but I feared that something would be wrong.

Rob
You shouldn't be scared
Me
But what if the kid's missing a leg?
Rob
Then it's missing a leg

I know I must have looked exasperated to Rob. He just smiled at me. This odd little smile that tells me simultaneously that I'm crazy and that he loves me even though I am.

The Lady who attended us at the ultrasound was named Lizzy. She was very nice and laughed at Rob and I several times especially as I asked, What is that? Constantly. How she could decipher what the hell was a bladder is beyond me. It looked like a blob. Babe was, as usual, uncooperative for pictures. So what few I have I'll post later, but aren't that great.

I had to pee really badly. They make you drink water beforehand. Never had to do this for the other ultrasounds, but the other ultrasounds are rather different. They were just random screen shots and not this high tech machine with a mouse and full computer system and beeping noises and such (so technical right?) So I had a very full bladder as the ultrasound was happening, and anytime she went to press on my tummy she'd apologize. Babe didn't move all that much when they were doing the sound. Crossed his legs - and I think that's the best picture we have. So weird to see. Rob was fairly quiet. I couldn't see him very well. The room was dark. She measured the legs...his arms. We got to see the 4 chambers of the heart. The spine. I tell you, it's fascinating what modern technology lets you see. The face shots are always kinda weird to me though. Alien like cause you can't see the eyes. They look like just 2 black holes in facial shape. I kept looking at Rob and looking at the shape of the face to see whose face shape the babe has. Insane.

So what did we find out?? Well that a lot of what I thought I was is WRONG

• The most recent due date of December 20th is WRONG
• The original due date of December 11th is WRONG
• The 2nd due date I received of December 24th is WRONG
• The strange belief that I was 19 weeks pregnant is WRONG

Instead

• I am currently (well yesterday - 21 weeks and 1 day pregnant) That would put me over the 1/2 way point. And all my mentioning that I'm just over 4 months pregnant to everyone and their mother is incorrect as the sonogram puts me as just over 5 months pregnant.
• My new (and should be LAST) due date is now December 6th. Putting this kid close to having a birthday on or near MY birthday. TSK.
• The babe is currently 14 ounces. 2 ounces short of a pound and guesstimated at being about 11 inches long already. (where I know not?)
• Damn thing had its foot on my bladder. No wonder I had to pee so badly.
• Has all the necessary organs and limbs. Looking good.

And of course what you all want to know right? Is it a boy or girl. Well lets just say I can now sing this song to the babe - which I loved since I first heard it and which made me cry when I first heard it.

Godspeed (Sweet Dreams) by the Dixie Chicks

Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God heard "Amen," wherever you are
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings

Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

Yes, Rob and I are going to have a bouncing baby boy. A boy. WOW. What I feel is practically inexplicable. I have debated whether I could even find words to really encompass it. I am surprised, but I think I would be surprised whether or not it was a girl or boy. It just puts so much more definiteness...so much more credibility to it in knowing it's a boy. Daily I feel him move more. Little reminders that he's there. I can now say HE with just cause. WOW.

I left the doctor's office in a mild state of amazement and shock. Rob was on the phone with some client or other that called his cell and I stared at the printouts, at the alien face ones, at the crossed legs. I thought to myself. I'm over 5 months pregnant and JUST starting to show now. I wondered how it is that an almost one pound 11 inch thing was in this small little pooch. I thought that I'm currently the weight I was when I worked the Symphony, how I'm still wearing the pants that I wore at the symphony. I thought...my God. I'm having a baby.

Reality Hits...
I came home last night excited. I thought of the Dixie Chick song immediately when I was making dinner. It was a song that I had heard a bit over a year ago when doing research for songs for Mother/Son dances at weddings. I bawled the first time I heard it. I played it again for myself yesterday when Rob was watering the lawn. I didn't cry this time around, I just smiled. A broad wide smile. I can't believe that I'm finally HAPPY at the fact that I have a belly - that I'm going to be a mother. Although that word still feels weird - mother.

The Name Game
This is a warning to everyone. Even IF we do come up with a name for this boy before he comes into this world, the name will not be shared. I won't lie in saying that over the past few months I have been compiling a list of names that kind of draw my attention. I shared that list with Rob for the first time. After removing about 70% of the names from the list as either 'only sounding good in Spanish', 'what the hell were you thinking' and just plain 'no's' we now have a constructive list to START with. We were given a baby names book recently and we'll look through that too. We still will look around at whatever calls out attention and who knows if we'll even come to a decision before the boy is born. What we do know is that it won't be a Jr. Jr. or a Third. Roberto will NOT be his name.

Proof that I'm finally showing

From Miggy's Wedding on Sunday where I told everyone who asked me I was 4ish months pregnant when I wasnt'.