Recycling old posts School lunch – my anti bento tirade and problem with food as a whole

Yes, I realize its the beginning of August and I'm talking about the start of School, but having just bought Ari his backpack for the year (SPONGEBOB!) and being on the hunt for the perfect lunch box (this shouldn't be this complicated) I thought why not bring back one of my favorite posts from last year.

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School lunch – my anti bento tirade and problem with food as a whole

Camp was wonderful pre-school preparedness training for me. I learned quickly that my child was not a lunch eater unless he was having his favorite cold food option: peanut butter on whole wheat. Camp was a peanut free zone. 9 times out of 10 he would come home with an uneaten lunch box and devour his dinner. I generally don’t stress about it. He eats a very good breakfast everyday and a hearty dinner. So if he bypasses lunch then it’s ok. My issue is more along the lines of wasted food. Having a mother who consistently reminded me during childhood that ‘there are starving children in Africa’ and made me do the sign of the cross before throwing out any food, it’s pretty ingrained in me that I shouldn’t be wasting what I’m lucky to have. I also have parents who were substantially good cooks. My father, albeit personality wise the most despicable man imaginable, was a damn good cook. A Spaniard who worked in many NYC Restaurants doing odds and ends, he really appreciated a good meal made from scratch and my mother followed suit. They both instilled in me a great appreciation of food and I am grateful for that.

But I digress.

I really wanted to expand on Ari’s culinary menu for lunch. So I started looking for ideas where I always look for ideas. Google. What presented itself to me was this:

Without question these are pretty damn creative. And there are some that are FAR more extreme. And it’s not the first time I’ve seen them. I’ve followed the blogger Wendolonia and marveled at her creations. Her children’s bento boxes are very innovative. Bentos have been around in Japan forever and they are a very smart way of getting different things in a small container and not overlapping and in helping with portion control. But I am personally not a fan of bentos because of the way they make me FEEL. And it might be totally outrageous to think this way but it’s just the way it is. I read this article in the NY Times and found myself getting annoyed (at the kid end of it – using it for portion control is brilliant!)

• I marvel that people have the 15-20 minute time frame to put together an artistic creation of food which might not even be eaten. Ultimately, it’s JUST FOOD and in my opinion if it tastes good it doesn’t matter how it’s presented.
  
• The food is for kids. At times preschoolers. Children who just 2 years ago had to be spoon fed and might have found joy in smearing it across anything they could. As parents what we want is for them to eat the food not play with it so the mother’s statement of “If her boiled egg is shaped like a bunny and it is holding a baby carrot, she’ll eat it” is, to me, disturbing. You’re teaching the kid to appreciate the egg, or the design? I would think the latter. Sure if its shaped like a bunny they will find it interesting. Maybe they'll eat it. Or maybe they'll play with it. Try singing the YoGabbaGabba song “try it, you’ll like it” (it really does work) and spend less time cutting out designs. I’d much rather my kid see a piece of broccoli at the supermarket and want to eat it, then not consider it unless it’s cut in a star shape and decorated with a happy face.
  
• Full disclosure here, and this is squarely my issue. I probably would love to have the time to do these things. But the reality is I don’t. The thought that my child might see another child’s creative lunch and feel down that his is not as fun bothers me. And this is clearly my ongoing issue with guilt and the feeling that I don’t present enough value to my children because I have to work full time. (I’ll leave the feelings of inadequacy at not being able to volunteer more at the school for another time) but the bentos fall squarely in this. I want the best for Ari, and having this ultimately makes me feel like less.
  
  

I read this on another blog on lunch back in the day and it made me sad.

All the kids brought the same type of lunch – bologna on white bread with mayo or peanut butter and jelly wrapped in waxed paper. An apple or a banana was included in most luch bags; but Mom packed raw carrot sticks for us because they were “good for our eyesight”! Some days we were surprised by the addition of a Hostess chocolate cupcake or a bag of chips. We gobbled those lunches quickly so that we could have more time to play during the lunch recess.

That is basically what I think of when I think of lunch. I remember in 7th/8th grade when I’d make lunch on my own. I’d make a simple boars head ham sandwich on an Italian hero I bought that morning at the store across the street with mayo. When lunch rolled around, Maria Lisa would give me the lettuce off her mortadella sandwich and Cindy would steal the tip of my sandwich and I’d eat some of her tuna fish. Simple. And I can’t help but think how everything seems so overly complicated now. Food should be appreciated for what it is. Has no one watched the movie Ratatouille??? Just as Wall-E presented our disturbing reality and relationship with garbage, Ratatouille I think does an amazing job in sensibly establishing a healthy relationship and appreciation of the simple pleasure of food. I love that it values striving for excellence over settling and takes multiples jabs at the frozen dinner industry, suggesting that mediocrity simply will not do. We are all capable of appreciating greatness, if not actually creating it ourselves.

I know I’m a bit of a food snob. I know at time I can be a come mierda (i.e. stuck up or pretentious) when it comes to what my kids eat. I know that when they grow older they will eat crap, all kids do. For the time being, while I still can, I’d like to limit it as much as possible. I’m trying to establish an appreciation for good food, for trying new stuff, for liking things so that it’s less of a fight when they’ve established a hard headed philosophy that what they do is always right. I want them to value real food, to smell a piece of fruit and want to eat it, to savor the flavors in cooking. I want them to enjoy healthy food options for what they are. And I think that the only way to do that is to present the food in its natural state, not disguised by figures and shapes or by fancy packaging and creative marketing campaigns. So I'm bucking the Bento trend.

Robots and Parent Teachers Conferences

If there is one thing I learned in the last 4 years of having my little boy, is that the Christmas mood does not enter my system until after his birthday on the 12th. Yes, you heard me right, last Saturday, my little boy turned 4. Time does fly but he is, in all honesty, at my favorite age so far. His excitement bubbles over and he’s just an overall joy and I could ask for nothing better!

For his birthday we went with a ROBOT Theme and I blogged about it over at the Colorblind Productions blog: Robot Party So you can go over there and see the creative robot cake I made and the Robots that decorated

He is enjoying his gifts immensely, and we are slowly introducing him to the many games he received for his Leapster which is without a doubt a fabulous gift. One of my favorite moments of his party was when he went into the breezeway and spied his uncle’s gift: a radio flyer big wheel.

He openly said “WOW, Cool” and then proceeded to want to ride it outside. It’s very cold for that so even though we had lots of people in our little house he got to ride it a bit over people’s toes.

So his birthday has come and gone and he’s a proud four years old and now mama can move into Christmas mode. Doing that 2 weeks before Christmas can leave me a bit stressed, but thankfully, Rob is totally on top of his game as leaving me tend to Ari’s birthday took the reins and started the holiday gift purchases, etc. Honestly though, we’ve always been what I call Christmas Eve shoppers. To this day one of my fondest memories was Rob and us timing how long it would take us to buy all the gifts on our list. This was earlier in our relationship and it was one or 2 days before Christmas. 3.5 hours for 9 of his immediate family’s gifts and 2 of mine. And we managed that included in the travel between places (3 malls and 2 shopping centers.) We’ve failed at beating that time since then. There is still this odd rush in getting things done at a procrastinator’s rate. I have issues.
We had our first parent teacher’s conference last week too. I worried about the result but Rob, of course, did not. What we heard was not surprising. Ari gets easily distracted and sometimes won’t listen but has gotten very good at finally sitting still. He can be a bit of a fresh mouth, vocalizing quite voraciously when he does not want to do something. He’s very helpful, doesn’t really take naps during nap time and is happily in charge of waking up the other kids. He barely eats snack and is VERY slow at eating lunch. It was nice to hear a teacher remark on how bright he is, knowing all his letters, and being able to count to 100 (all thanks to Rob), so big proud mama moment there. I really do love his school.
There is so much more I want to share and I will…in another post.

Busy is a good thing

I've been missing in action lately. I know. There are lots of things going on in life and in my head that I just can't share right now. I'm in an interesting place with no answers and not much clarity. I know this all sounds so cryptic but I'll be able to disclose it in the short term future. Right now, I can't because I really don't know what to say or for that matter, much of the reality of it all. But soon.

I do feel bad for not updating so this is a brief update with pictures from Halloween you can enjoy.

Trying on the costumes

Halloween parade at school

Halloween

And how about 2 adorable kidlets making cupcakes.

CATHOLIC SCHOOL = FUNDRAISERS

Yes, its that time of year. I'm going to hit everyone up for fund-raising assistance! You have 2 different ways to help out Ari in his fund raising attempts so visit the following links for more information.

1. Raffle tickets
   with over 70 chances to win cash prizes and all tickets elgible to win more then once it's worth a shot. Hey, you never know!
   


2. Buying something!
   You remember the booklet of chocolate you used to beg people to consider buying. It is now my turn to beg and plead for you to consider buying from our booklet. But at least now they go beyond chocolate! There's cakes and pizza, sweets and chocolates, wrapping paper, jewelry, trinkets and more. AND my absolute favorite - MAGAZINES!!!
   

Local to the NY tri-state area I'll be happy to drop it off for you upon receipt with Ari on hand to thank you for your amazing support. If you are at a distance and still want to help out (magazines require no drop off ;) ) we appreciate it. If there's something you must have talk to me about using the handy U.S. Postal service to get it to you.

Thank you so much for being a part in this!

School lunch – my anti bento tirade and problem with food as a whole

Camp was wonderful pre-school preparedness training for me. I learned quickly that my child was not a lunch eater unless he was having his favorite cold food option: peanut butter on whole wheat. Camp was a peanut free zone. 9 times out of 10 he would come home with an uneaten lunch box and devour his dinner. I generally don’t stress about it. He eats a very good breakfast everyday and a hearty dinner. So if he bypasses lunch then it’s ok. My issue is more along the lines of wasted food. Having a mother who consistently reminded me during childhood that ‘there are starving children in Africa’ and made me do the sign of the cross before throwing out any food, it’s pretty ingrained in me that I shouldn’t be wasting what I’m lucky to have. I also have parents who were substantially good cooks. My father, albeit personality wise the most despicable man imaginable, was a damn good cook. A Spaniard who worked in many NYC Restaurants doing odds and ends, he really appreciated a good meal made from scratch and my mother followed suit. They both instilled in me a great appreciation of food and I am grateful for that.

But I digress.

I really wanted to expand on Ari’s culinary menu for lunch. So I started looking for ideas where I always look for ideas. Google. What presented itself to me was this:

Without question these are pretty damn creative. And there are some that are FAR more extreme. And it’s not the first time I’ve seen them. I’ve followed the blogger Wendolonia and marveled at her creations. Her children’s bento boxes are very innovative. Bentos have been around in Japan forever and they are a very smart way of getting different things in a small container and not overlapping and in helping with portion control. But I am personally not a fan of bentos because of the way they make me FEEL. And it might be totally outrageous to think this way but it’s just the way it is. I read this article in the NY Times and found myself getting annoyed (at the kid end of it – using it for portion control is brilliant!)

• I marvel that people have the 15-20 minute time frame to put together an artistic creation of food which might not even be eaten. Ultimately, it’s JUST FOOD and in my opinion if it tastes good it doesn’t matter how it’s presented.
  
• The food is for kids. At times preschoolers. Children who just 2 years ago had to be spoon fed and might have found joy in smearing it across anything they could. As parents what we want is for them to eat the food not play with it so the mother’s statement of “If her boiled egg is shaped like a bunny and it is holding a baby carrot, she’ll eat it” is, to me, disturbing. You’re teaching the kid to appreciate the egg, or the design? I would think the latter. Sure if its shaped like a bunny they will find it interesting. Maybe they'll eat it. Or maybe they'll play with it. Try singing the YoGabbaGabba song “try it, you’ll like it” (it really does work) and spend less time cutting out designs. I’d much rather my kid see a piece of broccoli at the supermarket and want to eat it, then not consider it unless it’s cut in a star shape and decorated with a happy face.
  
• Full disclosure here, and this is squarely my issue. I probably would love to have the time to do these things. But the reality is I don’t. The thought that my child might see another child’s creative lunch and feel down that his is not as fun bothers me. And this is clearly my ongoing issue with guilt and the feeling that I don’t present enough value to my children because I have to work full time. (I’ll leave the feelings of inadequacy at not being able to volunteer more at the school for another time) but the bentos fall squarely in this. I want the best for Ari, and having this ultimately makes me feel like less.
  
  

I read this on another blog on lunch back in the day and it made me sad.

All the kids brought the same type of lunch – bologna on white bread with mayo or peanut butter and jelly wrapped in waxed paper. An apple or a banana was included in most luch bags; but Mom packed raw carrot sticks for us because they were “good for our eyesight”! Some days we were surprised by the addition of a Hostess chocolate cupcake or a bag of chips. We gobbled those lunches quickly so that we could have more time to play during the lunch recess.

That is basically what I think of when I think of lunch. I remember in 7th/8th grade when I’d make lunch on my own. I’d make a simple boars head ham sandwich on an Italian hero I bought that morning at the store across the street with mayo. When lunch rolled around, Maria Lisa would give me the lettuce off her mortadella sandwich and Cindy would steal the tip of my sandwich and I’d eat some of her tuna fish. Simple. And I can’t help but think how everything seems so overly complicated now. Food should be appreciated for what it is. Has no one watched the movie Ratatouille??? Just as Wall-E presented our disturbing reality and relationship with garbage, Ratatouille I think does an amazing job in sensibly establishing a healthy relationship and appreciation of the simple pleasure of food. I love that it values striving for excellence over settling and takes multiples jabs at the frozen dinner industry, suggesting that mediocrity simply will not do. We are all capable of appreciating greatness, if not actually creating it ourselves.

I know I’m a bit of a food snob. I know at time I can be a come mierda (i.e. stuck up or pretentious) when it comes to what my kids eat. I know that when they grow older they will eat crap, all kids do. For the time being, while I still can, I’d like to limit it as much as possible. I’m trying to establish an appreciation for good food, for trying new stuff, for liking things so that it’s less of a fight when they’ve established a hard headed philosophy that what they do is always right. I want them to value real food, to smell a piece of fruit and want to eat it, to savor the flavors in cooking. I want them to enjoy healthy food options for what they are. And I think that the only way to do that is to present the food in its natural state, not disguised by figures and shapes or by fancy packaging and creative marketing campaigns. So I'm bucking the Bento trend.

Article on Preschool - Parenting Magazine

Worth the read. I know I haven't posted and I have to. I have so much to share. The first week of school was on Monday. And Ari has taken very well to it. But then again things have also picked up and at the end of the day, in front of a computer is not where I want to be. So I leave you with this. A fun read. I laughed out loud at many of these both as a parent of a preschooler and a friend to one to many teachers.

Preschool Confidential: What Teachers Want You to Know
Some helpful hints from the experts to make your kids new school year a breeze (for everyone)
By Anonymous, Parenting

My job is quite entertaining: I get to spend my days with your children, and they never fail to make me laugh. Sure, there are stumbling blocks, but the hurdles with the kids are usually surmountable. It's often you -- the parent -- who presents the biggest challenge. I know it's hard navigating the demands of school (I'm a mom, too), but here are a few things I'd love to tell you. You may find some hard to believe, but I guarantee you: I have made nothing up. Who could make up a frazzled working mom juggling so much that she put the entire jar of peanut butter in the lunch box?

Empty your child's backpack. Yes, it contains a lot of glue and glitter and unidentifiable objects, but your child worked hard on those projects and is proud of them. Even if you're going to toss it all in the trash as soon as you tuck him into bed (yep, I do this, too), at least pretend to be interested enough to look at it with your child.

Now that your child is verbal, it might be a good time to get a lock for your bedroom door and use it. Your son told his friends quite a story about his nighttime wanderings -- illustrated with our career dolls -- and it's really very awkward to have those images of Ms. Banker and Mr. Plumber flashing before my eyes every time I talk to you.

Don't ask me about any other children. If I tell you that your child is doing well on something, don't ask me if Julian is doing that, too. And don't ask me if your child is the smartest in the class. I won't tell you. Teachers prefer to compare a child's progress to himself, not others: Could he draw a face this well last fall? Could he sit still this long for a story two months ago?

I'm sure your child is gifted. My three children are all gifted, too. Shall I tell you all about them? In mind-numbing detail? Wait, I think I may have a video here on my phone that you can watch -- it's only 12 minutes long.

School clothes can -- and should -- be playclothes. Our job is to keep your children happy and inspired, which often involves getting messy. No one here will judge you unkindly if your child doesn't look like she just stepped out of a Polo ad.

About goodbyes: A kiss, hug, and "Have a super day!" is all that's needed. With the exception of the beginning of the year, when your child is still getting adjusted, you shouldn't linger. If your child likes to know his schedule, one additional line about what you'll do after school ("We'll go to the park") can be helpful. And please don't sneak out. Your child will become more desperate to catch you, which ups the stress factor enormously. It's better to make a clear departure, even if he cries, because then he knows what's going on, which helps him feel more in control of the situation.

Lice can happen to anyone. You needn't be embarrassed. Just let me know so I can prevent an outbreak.

I'd appreciate it if you don't send in talking toys. Perhaps you're hoping they'll get lost, and I'm right there with you. By the way, I can't stand SpongeBob's laugh. There's nothing you can do about that -- I just needed to say it.

You do not need to give me a holiday gift. I will love your child no matter what. But if you do:

Skip the regifted Santa that swivels his hips and plays "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" every time someone walks by. If funds are a problem, a nice note is always lovely.

If you give me baked goods, please don't tell me that your child helped make them. I bake with your children, too, and I know the secret ingredients that go into their recipes.

Gift cards are not impersonal -- they're wonderful. Even in very small denominations.

I really, really don't need any more scented candles.

Understand other children as you do your own (okay, at least make an effort). When another child is having some behavioral problems, contain the smug disapproval. As a parent, you know that all kids go through difficult phases, and families sometimes experience stress that is out of their control. Besides, your child isn't perfect, either. No one's is. If the other kid is aggressive, have faith that I will keep your child safe, and know that I am doing everything I can to make things better.

Please don't ever tell your child to bite back.

Busy preschoolers often wait until the last minute to go to the potty. Belts and excess buttons may look cute, but even grown-up fingers can fumble when the pressure is on (and you know how they squirm when they really need to go). Aim for easy-on, easy-off attire.

Don't allow your child to come to school in plastic high-heeled shoes. Ever. Even if she screams.

I won't agree that it is deeply important for your 3-year-old to be moved up to the 4-year-old class, or that your 4-year-old is ready for kindergarten. I also won't write a letter to the school district attesting to this. Because here's the thing: Children don't always develop evenly. That means that the kid who is way ahead this month may slow down and be exactly where her peers are in six months' time. And that just because a child can already add and subtract, it doesn't mean she knows how to get along with her classmates. So putting a child with an older age group can be really stressful for her, for us, and, ultimately, for you.

If your child throws up after breakfast, chances are it's not a one-time event. Same goes for explosive diarrhea. Keep her home, and don't bother to tell me the babysitter decided to send her. I've heard that one before.

A Nutella sandwich, chocolate milk, and cookies is not a lunch. It is a small dessert buffet.

Try to trust me. If I tell you that your child could benefit from further evaluation in an area of development, realize that I would not say such a thing frivolously. (It is never easy to tell a parent that his or her child might have a problem, however minor it may be.) I see your child through the eyes of a teacher, as part of a group, and I'm not just thinking of him now, but also in elementary school. I want to make sure that if your child needs a little extra help, he gets it sooner rather than later. And it's not a big deal if he does; lots of kids get services like speech or occupational therapy. If you think I'm wrong, go see a specialist and then come back and let me know how off base I was. I'll probably be almost as relieved as you.

Please tell me the appeal of those yogurt-squirting tubes, and if you can't, then consider another way to get your child his calcium.

Read my notes home. I know they're chirpy and have way too many exclamation points (and, no, I don't talk that way to my husband). But sometimes I have important news about classroom events to share with you, and if you don't keep up, your child will suffer the consequences. There's always one child who comes to Pajama Day in regular clothes or whose parents don't show up for the class play, and we always feel sorry for her. These are not life-altering events, but they mean a lot to your preschooler.

If you're already late for pick-up, take the time to change out of your workout clothes first.

End your cell-phone call before pick-up. It's hard for your child to share the excitement of her day with you if you're on the phone. And trust me -- these joyous greetings won't last.

If you are going to chat with other moms for half an hour after school, please don't think that we are still responsible for your kids. Much as we like them, after pick-up, they are yours.

Tell me if you or your child is unhappy. Don't worry about hurting my feelings -- regularly getting asked if I met Abraham Lincoln has given me pretty thick skin. If you tell me in a reasonable way what is bothering you, I don't think I will take it the wrong way. Remember: We both want your child to be happy and love learning. And, hey, if your child happens to enjoy school, tell me that, too: I could use the ego boost!

Relish these days. Your children grow up and return to visit me with their long legs, grown-up teeth, and first-grade readers tucked under their arms, and the little kid is gone forever. Don't stress about things that will pass, like when she'll learn to tie her shoes or when he'll stop sucking his thumb. Instead, revel in the innocent, fleeting happiness that is life with a preschooler.

The author has a Ph.D. in clinical child psychology and has been working at a preschool for more than a decade

Back to School

Ari starts a full day of school this year. Monday through Friday, 8:30am to 2:30pm. I’m totally excited about this. I know it will be so good for him. He loves camp now (need to post on the wonder and fabulousness that is Salta Jump into Spanish) Beyond that I’m incredibly proud of myself for having mailed in all the required documentation for the school including immunization forms. I feel totally organized!

I’ve always loved the start of the school year. I get giddy going to the store and seeing all the back to school supplies. I used to want to buy my supplies the minute I saw the notebooks lining the main aisle at Woolworth (remember them?) Even as a catholic school uniform wearing kid, shopping was part of the new school year. New shoes, new clothes, pencils and pencil cases and folders and such.

And it’s kind of a bummer that I don’t have the opportunity to shop for Ari’s back to school stuff. The school literature basically said “pay said and said amount and we’ll provide all these supplies.” What are the few things we are responsible for?

• 3 boxes of baby wipes,
  
• 3 boxes of tissues
  
• 5 glue sticks
  
• 1 4oz. bottle of Elmer’s School Glue

Oh well.

And as organized as I claim to be, I did not start reading the required “at least” 3 books from the summer reading list. I think considering this is Pre-K I can get away with it right? Maybe I should get the books huh? I have a month till school starts.

Books on the reading list:

• Me and My Mom – Alison Ritchie
  
• The Very Hungry Caterpillar – Eric Carle – we have this one and have read it
  
• the Kissing Hand – Audrey Penn
  
• Chicka Chicka Boom Boom – Bill Martin Jr.
  
• Clifford: School Days Treasurey – Norman bridwell
  
• The Doorbell Rang – Pat Hutchins
  
• If You Take a Mouse to School – Laura Numeroff

I do feel bad for Nilsa. She gets bummed when Ari goes to camp for the day and now she’ll be without her brother for the most part. I also wish she had some school to go to. Unlike Ari she makes the cutoff for school year. So next year she can go to full day pre-k. I wish she would have some 2 times a week 2 hours a day kind of program like Ari had to just prepare her for it. I feel going from with daddy/abuela all day to school all day would be extreme. If anyone knows of something like that please let me know.

Camp Adventures & No Broken Nose

Dr. Shah confirmed no broken nose. I can breathe a huge sigh of relief...

So Ari's first day of camp came and went. Today he's at his 2nd day. When I went to pick him up I was enamored with the cultural hodge podge that is this school/camp. I love that parents who are not Spanish bring their kids here. And I found out that the director and I share pediatricians.

When I went to pick up Ari, he was fine. The director told me that he never cried and he seemed to enjoy himself. The issue is not having been at the school/camp before, everything is new and he's unaware of the formatting. Because of this he's having issues paying attention.

So they asked that next week he be switched from 5 days to 3 days because they think he's not quite ready for the 5 day and he's not assimilated yet. The additional week should afford him the time to learn the way things roll. I'm OK with that. I asked if he's being disruptive or anything because that's a concern of mine. Especially since the day I picked him up and asked him what he did, he answered "I got a time out" and of course that made me worry (this will be a reoccurring comment of mine.) I was convinced he did something horrible to deserve that. In our house we don't do time outs, I'm assuming he didn't get that concept either so it didn't work. *sigh* But no, he was just not paying attention in the playground and coming close to hurting himself by gong by the swings.

They assured me he's not being disruptive, he's just having issues listening and sitting down and especially when all the kids are together, they have to be aware of safety so listening is a BIG thing. She said 'he seems to march to the beat of his own drummer' and that's very true. He never cries, is always happy and I have to remember he is the youngest child in the class. He was excited to go to camp today so he obviously loves it. He does great at independent play of course, but more structured circumstances find him suffering from "ants in the pants" syndrome and that's more because he's just not yet used to the flow so he just needs time to adapt.

And they need to adapt to him too. They were telling me how the teacher was stressing a bit cause he didn't want to eat lunch. That was my fault as I did not tell them he's not much of a self feed/lunch eater. And this is a big worry of mine. So he gets a large breakfast and if he eats he eats. I told them as much. I am more concerned about him getting enough liquids then of him eating. And I forgot to mention to them that he's a sweater and that when hot he gets red faced. *sigh* worry worry.

I want like every mom to hear my kid is brilliant and perfectly behaved and that's a stupid thing to ever expect. Very stupid but understandable. I'm glad to hear that he obviously likes it very much and that is truly the most important thing. He participates to a certain degree he just needs time. I wish I had the money to have put him in all summer long. I really do love the school and witnessing the kids that are generally in the program have the ability to converse and comprehend spanish when they themselves don't speak it at home says a lot about the program. I think its so good for him. I just wish it were closer.

Nilsa though misses her brother tremendously. My mother in law said that all day she was calling out "Ari, where are you" and looking for him. :(

We'll see how he does today. Today was pool day. He generally loves the pool so we'll see how well he listens and what the progress report is.

Pictures from Victoria's first birthday this past weekend

Anxiety - Possible broken noses and the start of camp.

First if you haven't seen my facebook status, yesterday Ari running through the kitchen fell flat on his face. FLAT onto the tile floor. HARD. Mom was in the kitchen, I was downstairs getting ready as I was to leave to videotape a wedding in an hour. I heard the boom and I heard the scream and I was upstairs in less then a second. Blood. Bloody nose that kept bleeding and bleeding. I had blood on my clothes, down my arms on my face and in my hair. I tried to soothe him and stop the bleeding but he was freaked and didn't want his face touched. Then I argued with my mom who insisted he needed to lie back for the bloody nose while I insisted he needed to sit up so that the blood didn't rush down into his throat. I remember yelling at her to go get Rob who was loading up for the wedding. The minute he walked in I crashed. Total panic attack. Shaking, hyperventilating and freaking out. I was totally not the picture of cool and he took over. Once I calmed down I was able to get hold of Ari, get him into the living room and put on Wall E.

He had calmed down but his lip and nose were swollen. His nose had stopped bleeding. We Sat in the couch putting ice packs on his nose and letting him suck on as many ice pops as he wanted (which did wonders for reducing the swelling in his mouth. No cuts. His nose swelling prevented us from seeing if it was broken. I honestly don't think it is but I'm no doctor. I read online that it can't be really diagnosed until the swelling subsides and that I need only worry if the bleeding doesn't stop, he can't seem to breathe through his nose or it is obviously crooked. By the end of the movie all was right in the world to Ari. Yes, his nose was swollen (top part, not the tip) but he didn't have a care in the world. And he was very good at putting the ice on it. So good in fact that this morning although it was still swollen, it wasn't so much so and the bruising was really minimal.

Beyond that Ari started camp today. Rob dropped him off and I'm going to pick him up. It’s the first time he has ever been in an all day thing and I have to say, I'm terribly anxious about it. You ever get so nervous that you feel chest pain? It’s like your heart actually hurts. That’s me right now. I’m worried that he won’t enjoy himself, or that he will feel abandoned. Rob called me when he dropped him off. He’s never been to the camp himself so both Rob and Ari got to see it for the first time. Rob said that when they went into the room, he was a bit scared. He was clingy to Rob and unsure of himself. But he warmed up to it and even said Goodbye to Rob without issue. Rob liked the place which is good as Rob’s so damn particular with things. So I sit here in anticipation of picking him up.

This is also the first time he’s had to eat lunch. This is another of my anxious points. Ari is a bit spoiled by the grandmother’s when it comes to lunch. He always has hot meals and most time, he’s fed. He’s terribly lazy when having to feed himself anything except waffles so I know he’s basically spoon fed most of the time. So now he has to feed himself. Beyond that, he’s not one for sandwiches or cold food with the exception of peanut butter, which of course isn’t allowed. So I worry that he’s going to be very hungry.

I can’t wait to see what he thinks of it.

My current favorite picture to end this post

The school year comes to an end

Ari's last day of school was Tuesday.

They had a little graduation and I was totally emotional. I love the school, the teachers and he obviously loved it very much.

He hugged every teacher and it was sad to see the room all packed up for the summer, and to collect all his pictures and name and all. I will miss the Westfield YMCA. It's sad not going there anymore and its sad knowing that the Rodrigues twins and Tyler won't be in the same class as Ari anymore.

Eileen Rooney, their Director is very hands on. Mrs. Citron, Mrs. Seip and Mrs. Miller (the 3 teachers Ari had) were nothing but lovely, patient and attentive.

I encourage anyone who is looking at preschool in the Union County area to consider the Westfield YMCA's preschool program.

I'm also nervous about camp. He starts in 2 weeks. 3 days a week from 9-4. I worry that he won't like it. That it will be too long a day or too much time away. He has that for 2 weeks and the following 2 weeks are 5 days a week. Rob said that after the first session we'll feel better with the possibility of 5 days a week and if we think that's too much we'll ask to change to 3 days. I'm excited about the all Spanish aspect of it.

Speaking of school, yesterday I received a mailing from Ari's preschool next year. It included a Parent Handbook, a list of our responsibilities as members of the school and a summer reading list. Yes, a summer reading list for 3 year olds! It was a bit surreal. Having been a catholic school kid most of my life and now reading the literature and curriculum as a parent. I'm old enough to have kids starting school. It's just an odd place to be. Exciting.

Homework for parents

Ari comes home weekly with small home tasks to do. Rob and I call them homework but that’s not really the right thing to call them. They are requests to decorate pieces of paper in the shape or theme of the week. Putting together the things of interest to Ari, letting him run squiggle lines of crayon around. Activities where we get to sit with him and do something together.

I will admit to not being so diligent when it comes to this. I sometimes feel as if I’ve lost the capacity of having unbridled fun doing things without direction. Have I grown up so much that now I have issue just letting go of the way you’re supposed to be and the obligations that life dictates to you? Have I lost the ability to go along and not think, but rather just do because you can? Why do I look at these projects that should be great together time and much fun like another task that I just don’t feel like doing? And the answer is simple. I’m tired. After a long day, I want to really relax, but being a parent doesn’t come with that luxury. And my negative attitude is at times selfish and certainly of no benefit to my children. So, I’m striving to better appreciate those times. To not look at them as work because my apathy towards it, I’m sure, is visible to Ari. Rob is far more game to these kinds of activities. But he is not without his faults. He can’t get over the need to keep everything clean and organized. It should come as no surprise for those of you who know him that he favors a very ‘stay with the lines’ kind of mentality. So the use of glues and paints, glitter, sand and crayons are on a limited basis because of the ‘mess factor’

In essence we both have to learn to let go of our preconceived notions of what should and should not be done and allow our kids the liberty to explore on their own. I’ve decided that I have to make a concerted effort to provide some of this creative time for both Nilsa and Ari and simultaneously let go of our trying to ‘figure out’ the meaning of everything, correcting the way things should be done and putting too much thought into the simplest of tasks.

Case in point, we received homework the other day. For their Valentine’s Day celebration, we as parents we asked to decorate a paper heart to give to our children. On it was printed the simple phrase
We love Arias because ________________
I sat in the kitchen once the kids were asleep and stared at that piece of paper. I stared at it for 10 minutes. I wondered throughout what the RIGHT statement would be. What the correct answer to the blank is. I took it, walked into the living room and announced that not only was I having writer’s block, but I feel as if I’m failing miserably as a parent for not being able to write one sentence. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know what to write. I could write novels on every little bit of Ari and why it is that I love every last quirk and piece of him. My problem was not expressing the sentiment. It was expressing it in the limitations of one sentence and in a way that he would understand it. I didn’t want to let Ari down.

Now, I know you are all reading this and saying, Dianne you are insane! Why are you putting so much thought into a simple sentence? And you know what? I am insane. And I have no idea why the whole thing got to be from a ‘fun’ activity to a overwhelmingly and miserable project. But it did. And so after writing down something I found trivial and a cop out, I was exhausted. Rob in turn proceeded to the decorating with use of pictures and clip art he methodially resized and printed then cut and clued. The end result was absolutely beautiful. But evoked the sense of meticulousness that is my husband. It was wonderful - but clearly over-thought. And this is a PRIME example on why we need to start letting go of our own expectations and moving to JUST being. And the best way to do it is by not making the entire thing a task to be completed.WE have to bring fun back into life. Hopefully, you’ll be seeing more of us/me embracing this ideaology in the coming weeks.

Parent-Teacher Conference

“He’s only 3” is what Rob reminded me when I expressed anxiety about my first ever parent-teacher conference. As is common for him he chuckled at what he thought was an exaggerated reaction to a very perfunctory role of parenthood. And we are after all talking about pre-pre-school. A school he only attends 2 days a week and for 2.5 hours at that. Yet there I was, alone as Rob could not attend with me, in his class awaiting my opportunity to sit with Ms. Citron to discuss my little man’s character in school. I found myself unusually warm and I took a seat in the pre-school chairs with my knees uncomfortably high cursing my heels and wondering why there were no adult sized chairs to sit in. I fiddled uncomfortably with my purse handles.

Ms. C handed me a piece of paper, then walked away to take care of something and being me, and impatient in waiting to review anything, I read what was on it. It was the 2nd page, the area which the teacher writes her own thoughts and I laughed.

has a problem sitting still for any period of time
I have to say, it's hard to sit at a parent teacher conference as a parent. It’s hard to hear about your kid and not have some odd nagging noise in the far recesses of your mind blaming you for not being able to have your kid achieve a 'PERFECT' scoring. And this is what I am feeling with a 3 year old. Can you imagine how much louder the noise gets as the years go by?

Ari did well. It brought smiles and no real surprise to me that he’s advanced in his letter and number recognition. The teacher was surprised to hear how early on in age he has been able to recite the entire alphabet as well as his current ability to know their respective sounds and count numbers up to almost 20 in both English & Spanish. He recognizes his name, and some small words. He’s fairly impressive to that end. Ms. C said that the full day preschool will be extremely beneficial to Ari next year and that the Spanish camp will help tremendously in his language skills, even mentioning how her own twenty-something son was learning Spanish. Although, admittedly, the dual language has him using both languages to express himself even when people (i.e. his teachers) don't understand him, and is slightly delaying his ability to express himself (but not negatively so.) Where he lacks seems to be in some other areas.

Now, to hear the opinion of your child from an external source, an objective individual who has no experience of your lifestyle at home is interesting. You spend a lot of the meeting time giving them a deeper explanation of your child, the differences in environment they live in and are taken care in with the school environment. The languages they speak and to whom they speak them. The relationships they have and the socialization they receive. You learn how each of these translates to and affects their behavior at school, their ability to understand and focus. You start realizing how much and how valued your guidance is to the development of your child.

Ari seems to have a bit of an issue in focus. Completing tasks to fulfillment before moving on to something else (i.e. puzzles) or even sitting during story time is something he’s not good at. He much prefers to walk around, do what he wants to do when he wants to do it and selectively listen. But through this all, he’s not disruptive. He just doesn’t follow a routine and that is why we put him in the school in the first place. Life at home and at grandmas’ is free play with whatever it is that he wishes to do without limitations. Things that need not be touched are out of reach. He basically gets to class and finds himself in sensory overload and goes right into the ‘I want to do this so I do’ attitude. He is very much a free spirit. His other negative is that he doesn’t put on his coat; pull down his pants for the bathroom, etc. And it’s not because he doesn’t know how. He’d done it with coaxing. But he does not freely do it. So we need to have him do this stuff more often on his own.

And although there’s no concern over any of this its hard not to wonder if there’s something you are doing wrong. We went over many of the things he seems to enjoy at home that he doesn’t seem to focus on at school and over the course of the conversation we noticed that things he doesn't focus on at school but does very well at home are always done in a environment when Ari is in control of the situation. He generally likes being in control of the situation and would rather do as he pleases then follow direction if its not something of his interest at the moment. It questions our behavior and philosophy on the amount of liberty and restrain that we need to give him. It makes me believe that we should be more structured but we battle this ideology. We like his spirit right now. How do we build structure without stifling his fire and creativity. There are benefits in both directions. And that’s where I begin to over think the situation.

And then I hear Rob laughing. “He’s only 3” he says. And I’m reminded, Ari’s learning and improving. And simultaneously, we as parents are learning and improving. And I laugh. It's then that I realize that our children will teach us more then anything else we've have learned so far in life.

Catching up

I left the house today to the sounds over the monitor of Nilsa singing. She’s obsessed with one song in particular that she will sing in her own way. She has finally figured out how to stand up by herself. She can almost get up from a sitting position without the help of something to pull up on. She’s becoming so much more confident in walking and will let go of things freely to toddle around. She seems so much happier to be able to have the liberty to walk around. This Saturday she turns one.

So many things have been going on and life in general continues being busy. I have not actively written on here because it’s just been difficult to find the time to really write out my thoughts in a cohesive manner. Right now I can’t even do so, as I’m trying hard to figure out what to do or say or post right now. So I guess I’ll do a small photo dump recap.

Nilsa’s baptism.
Almost 2 months ago. Gah, I’m so far behind. Kathy and Eddie are her godparents and we had everyone shuttle to New York for the baptism to my hometown parish. I love my parish. It has such a sense of home for me. And I was welcome to the sight of my 8th grade friends as Chris was baptizing his daughter that same day. So I got to see the guys I went to school with 17 years ago. And to book we went to Caffé on the Green for dinner following and Chris was holding his daughter’s celebration at the same place. Kismet. It was great seeing the guys who, I’m sure, don’t realize how much they were a salvation to me as a kid. They were the open arms and caretakers when I was at my most vulnerable and I need to go all therapy like on them one day and send them thank you notes for being there when I needed them although I’m sure they didn’t notice it then. But back to my beautiful little Miss. Nilsa, she looked absolutely darling in a dress so lovingly made by the mother of the person I consider my sister – Cindy. The dress was perfection and she looked absolutely darling in it with her white flower. It was such a great day surrounded by families and just so much fun. I felt so calm and jovial and it was the epitome of celebratory. No stresses, just smiles. Everyday should be that perfect.

Ari starts school
The week before last, Ari started his first day at pre-preschool. He loves it and I can only wish it was more then 2 days a week for 3 hours a day.







Nilsa’s birthday is on Saturday so stay tuned for pictures of her party on Sunday.