Crafting with the Kidlets

One of the things Rob and I discussed adding to our interactions with the kids are crafts. It’s not something that’s currently in our comfort zone and honestly, not something I can seem to come up with on my own. I planned on going to the craft store and buying a bunch of stuff to really get into it. Most especially kid safe scissors as Ari is really into scissors and cutting.

So, being me, I researched on line what these pre-school craft projects would be. I figured I might as well get a good idea as to what crafting is and what would be fun to do and finally what I need to have on hand to do it. And after raising my eyebrow at some sites and rolling my eyes at the complexities of others, I came across the DIY Preschool Blog written by Brooklynite Leslie Kaufman. It eerily elaborated my exact sentiments towards crafting.

Crafts for Preschoolers

Two words: They suck.

Forgive the harsh language, but I really find most crafts for preschool-age children not just gag-inducing, but developmentally questionable.

Whether it's making little bugs out of pipe cleaners and egg cartons, gluing cotton balls on Santa's beard, or adding decorations to a cut-out animal, preschool crafts always seem to be about nudging children to mimic or embellish something an adult has made.

Even in the most non-judgmental, non-pressured settings, such projects are more about competency -- the ability to place those cotton balls in just the right place -- than they are about creativity. They're often either so easy and unimaginative that they amount to dreary busy work for wee ones, or else require children to do things that are well above their skill level (meaning lots of "help" from adults).

Oh, and the projects are usually really lame.

Don't get me wrong: I love doing crafts. I made all kinds of wacky jewelry in my 20s, created elaborate scrapbooks in my 30s, and now enjoy unwinding in the evening by making altered clothes for my kids.

I just don't think there are many crafts that are appropriate for two-, three-, and four-year-old kids. (Readers, feel free to weigh in -- and, by all means, share any ideas you have for non-sucky, genuinely creative little-kid crafts.)

Kids in this age group are better off doing art instead of crafts: open-ended creation, in which there is no model to copy or modify, no right or wrong. They need lots of time and space to explore different materials and media, scribble and smear, combine and remix, generally mess around -- and use their own imagination to describe what they are creating.

There will be plenty of time, later, for cute creations, if your child is interested in such things. In early childhood, it strikes me as more important to nurture the sense of open-ended exploration that art provides.

And that’s the thing. I was a crafty adolescent/pre-teen/teen. I did a bunch of stuff, made all sorts of concoctions and enjoyed every last minute of it. My hang up is in age appropriate crafts and guess what – I agree with her ideology that kids would be better off doing art at this age. And of course this led me to read every last page of her blog. She seems to have abandoned blogging or has taken a hiatus from it, much to my dismay. But I’m grateful that she blogged at all, because although I’m not as pro home schooling as she is, I adopt many of her philosophies.

So much of what she said spoke to me and I have an undying need to share the information. In a post entitled Trying to hard she spoke of her realization, in her attempt to teach, that she was trying to do something her kids were generally not ready for and discussed coming to terms with the pace of learning your kids are ready for. Another of her more poignant posts was entitled ‘Holding Back: Toys, Drawings and Other Adult Temptations” she pointed me towards a book I feel I want to read - Summerhill, A.S. Neill.

I was beginning to think about how I wanted to educate my own children, one passage in particular jumped out at me, in which the irascible A.S. Neill a offered some excellent advice: Never show a child how to play with a toy.

Never show a child how to play with a toy: It made immediate, perfect sense to me. "Teaching" a child how to use a toy robs the child of the joy, excitement, and challenge of discovery

I’m coming to realize in my discovery how much control I try to put in the situations I find myself in with my children. I really feel like I’m limiting their ability to expand their creativity. I will admit that as a child, I had this unlimited freedom to draw and doodle and play and dream up my own worlds and that I never had limitations in any of them. Well except for writing on walls – I got an earful for doing that. But I had my own space in the house where I was able do what I pleased without being told I couldn’t do that or I should do such and such like this. My kids need that. Balancing this freedom mentality with a more structured kind of mentality is a battle. I want to set limitations while simultaneously providing the liberty to expand freedom of thought and choice and being.

But I digress. I’ve decided to forgo structured crafts. I’ve made a list for the craft store that is random and messy. Construction paper, poster board, glitter, paint, brushes, glue, stamps, googly eyes, etc. I need to invest in some painters’ canvas drop cloth to stave of the cleanup nazi of my husband or at the very least allow for an easier clean up. And I’m going to let my kids create whatever it is they want to create and let them tell me what it is. We’ll start there. Maybe we’ll bake and decorate cookies on another day. Something I myself have never done so it will be an adventure. Let there be no limits – if only for an hour or 2 daily.

Homework for parents

Ari comes home weekly with small home tasks to do. Rob and I call them homework but that’s not really the right thing to call them. They are requests to decorate pieces of paper in the shape or theme of the week. Putting together the things of interest to Ari, letting him run squiggle lines of crayon around. Activities where we get to sit with him and do something together.

I will admit to not being so diligent when it comes to this. I sometimes feel as if I’ve lost the capacity of having unbridled fun doing things without direction. Have I grown up so much that now I have issue just letting go of the way you’re supposed to be and the obligations that life dictates to you? Have I lost the ability to go along and not think, but rather just do because you can? Why do I look at these projects that should be great together time and much fun like another task that I just don’t feel like doing? And the answer is simple. I’m tired. After a long day, I want to really relax, but being a parent doesn’t come with that luxury. And my negative attitude is at times selfish and certainly of no benefit to my children. So, I’m striving to better appreciate those times. To not look at them as work because my apathy towards it, I’m sure, is visible to Ari. Rob is far more game to these kinds of activities. But he is not without his faults. He can’t get over the need to keep everything clean and organized. It should come as no surprise for those of you who know him that he favors a very ‘stay with the lines’ kind of mentality. So the use of glues and paints, glitter, sand and crayons are on a limited basis because of the ‘mess factor’

In essence we both have to learn to let go of our preconceived notions of what should and should not be done and allow our kids the liberty to explore on their own. I’ve decided that I have to make a concerted effort to provide some of this creative time for both Nilsa and Ari and simultaneously let go of our trying to ‘figure out’ the meaning of everything, correcting the way things should be done and putting too much thought into the simplest of tasks.

Case in point, we received homework the other day. For their Valentine’s Day celebration, we as parents we asked to decorate a paper heart to give to our children. On it was printed the simple phrase
We love Arias because ________________
I sat in the kitchen once the kids were asleep and stared at that piece of paper. I stared at it for 10 minutes. I wondered throughout what the RIGHT statement would be. What the correct answer to the blank is. I took it, walked into the living room and announced that not only was I having writer’s block, but I feel as if I’m failing miserably as a parent for not being able to write one sentence. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know what to write. I could write novels on every little bit of Ari and why it is that I love every last quirk and piece of him. My problem was not expressing the sentiment. It was expressing it in the limitations of one sentence and in a way that he would understand it. I didn’t want to let Ari down.

Now, I know you are all reading this and saying, Dianne you are insane! Why are you putting so much thought into a simple sentence? And you know what? I am insane. And I have no idea why the whole thing got to be from a ‘fun’ activity to a overwhelmingly and miserable project. But it did. And so after writing down something I found trivial and a cop out, I was exhausted. Rob in turn proceeded to the decorating with use of pictures and clip art he methodially resized and printed then cut and clued. The end result was absolutely beautiful. But evoked the sense of meticulousness that is my husband. It was wonderful - but clearly over-thought. And this is a PRIME example on why we need to start letting go of our own expectations and moving to JUST being. And the best way to do it is by not making the entire thing a task to be completed.WE have to bring fun back into life. Hopefully, you’ll be seeing more of us/me embracing this ideaology in the coming weeks.