THIS WAS ME
THIS IS NOW ME
THIS IS WHY
I have gotten much advice over the past 3 weeks. Advice that I needed to hear, and advice that I wanted to hear. So much has changed in such a little time that I find myself a conflict of emotions. Emphatically happy and joyous while eerily dependant and stressed. I have been given the new 'title' of 'Mom' and with it a new realization that I am an emotional, insecure woman where a confident multi-tasker formerly stood.I wondered whether to mourn the loss of the person I used to be. The irreverent spitfire who did what she did when she wanted to. But the person I am becoming now is not so far removed from the person I was. The rambunctious Dianne I was still lives in me and still is very much a part of my day to day life, but with my new role, I can no longer go about life as if I have no one but myself to worry about, and I have to take into consideration what Ari needs and what is best for him. He is, after all, my every reason for being right now. I look at Ari every day and wonder how such a beautiful boy came from me. It seems partly a dream right now. Rob and I both wonder how we managed to combine and make this adorable little baby. It's amazing to just stare at him and marvel at his fingers and toes, his facial expressions and his new realizations of the world. Everything is new to him. Already, in this brief time he has changed so much. He's starting to really hold up his head, had gained weight and grown and will now reach for items and grasp things. He can focus somewhat and will follow you as you wander the room. He is so young and yet he has already progresses so much. It's amazing. He is truly my little miracle.
Part II of Birth Story and more to come later...
THIS IS NOW ME
THIS IS WHY
I have gotten much advice over the past 3 weeks. Advice that I needed to hear, and advice that I wanted to hear. So much has changed in such a little time that I find myself a conflict of emotions. Emphatically happy and joyous while eerily dependant and stressed. I have been given the new 'title' of 'Mom' and with it a new realization that I am an emotional, insecure woman where a confident multi-tasker formerly stood.I wondered whether to mourn the loss of the person I used to be. The irreverent spitfire who did what she did when she wanted to. But the person I am becoming now is not so far removed from the person I was. The rambunctious Dianne I was still lives in me and still is very much a part of my day to day life, but with my new role, I can no longer go about life as if I have no one but myself to worry about, and I have to take into consideration what Ari needs and what is best for him. He is, after all, my every reason for being right now. I look at Ari every day and wonder how such a beautiful boy came from me. It seems partly a dream right now. Rob and I both wonder how we managed to combine and make this adorable little baby. It's amazing to just stare at him and marvel at his fingers and toes, his facial expressions and his new realizations of the world. Everything is new to him. Already, in this brief time he has changed so much. He's starting to really hold up his head, had gained weight and grown and will now reach for items and grasp things. He can focus somewhat and will follow you as you wander the room. He is so young and yet he has already progresses so much. It's amazing. He is truly my little miracle.
Part II of Birth Story and more to come later...
No comments:
Post a Comment