Behind the 8 ball…

I have a lot I want to say and so much to review. I have such great pictures of Nilsa’s first birthday to share with you and this one is by far my favorite of Ari and Nilsa.

I am truly blessed with 2 fabulous kids. I know not how I got as lucky as I did. And you can see all the pictures from the party by clicking here and a very special thank you for photo contributors to this gallery – Diannie & Kathy. You can if you want buy prints from that site to if you guys fall in love with them. I’m not in the mindset to go into the party in detail but I did document it here at the colorblind blog if you want to read about it and lucky for me it’s been picked up by other websites already! How awesome is that?

Peppers & Pollywogs

Everyday Celebrating

Crash this Party

Swanky Tables

It really was an absolutely fabulous time and I’m grateful to those people who helped me put together the insane little details I came up with and joined us to enjoy fresh from the dairy milk, delectable cookies and the coolest balloon guy ever.

Yet internally I’m trying to figure myself out yet again. I’m overwhelmed with the amount of stuff that NEEDS to be done and the lackluster ability to really achieve it all. I hate to see the kind of stress and anxiety take a hold of Rob and it leaves me with an inability to help him through it. We try very hard to balance things in our household but it’s getting increasingly harder. Finding time to find what the bottleneck in our lives is while simultaneously giving our kids the attention they need leaves us trying to decipher what the best route to go is. And there’s barely time to even think about what that means or what we can do to help it. And in this all there’s flat out NO time for us as a couple. Monday is out 6 year wedding anniversary. It still feels like our wedding was only yesterday and yet it was 6 years ago. And how much has changed. So many good things have entered our lives and so many other things have occurred. I love Rob more then ever now. So much so that I worry immensely about him.

I’m hoping we can gather ourselves on Monday and not only enjoy each others company but start making a plan of action for our lives. The stress levels we are living with right now is unhealthy for us and will have a negative affect on the kids as I fear it’s at the brink of slipping over into them. There has to be a better way of doing thing then what we’re currently doing. We’re not failing. Things are well. We are just in a state of disorganization and disarray and that needs to change. So after the insanity that is this weekend (the most busy fall wedding weekend of the year out here in the North East) I’ve decided I need to really hash out what needs to be done to bring our lives to a more comfortable place. And I will do it. For us.