I've seriously, so far have had such an easy time with this pregnancy. So much so that I just assume something MIGHT be wrong although there's no indicator to that. I mean, the fact that at this point, my 'symptoms' are non-existent except for the certain occurrences of the CBH's (Crazy BooHoos) which really aren't all as frequent as I would have expected..I'm pretty much ok. My weight gain isn't as noticeable either. I feel rather stagnant in my position.
This leads to the worry and further into the fear. With no signs to say otherwise, how do I know everything is running it's course correctly? (this by the way is a rhetorical question) I know I can ask questions to the doctor or read or what not, but I'm largely chalking this up to irrationality of my pessimistic mind.
What are my latest fears? Well, first off, this whole ongoing baby the parent's of DJ's thing and the fact that people joking that the kid to be surrounded by music and instruments and well, have it's own microphone and headphones. Cute idea and at a point, it can be true. So my irrational mind thinks - what else - that my kid will be born deaf. Now that's not a bad thing, but I find that anything people seem to really 'push' seems to makes me think that that's the thing I should really keep in mind as what is going to go wrong.
Insanity??? Fear?? Irrationality?? Normal?? Who knows.
And that's just the primary fear - I have others...I fear that when I do finally do gain weight, Rob will end up not liking me much anymore. I know this is both a common and if anyone knows Rob - a stupid one - but hey - I do get insecure.
I for the first time in my life considered something I said I'd NEVER do. I actually considered plastic surgery. I know - I'm really thinking ahead here, but the fact that the weight gain that I have right now is strictly 'excess skin' well, I had time to think that if this is what I end up with - well I really will not be happy. Not that I'll jump into plastic surgery anytime soon, but the fact is that if my body (maybe after another child if I get there) remains with a kind of hangy flesh, well I said I'd consider it.....EEK.
And the list goes on and on and on... I'm considering this normal. If I'm wrong, feel free to point it out to me.
5 comments:
when you go in for plastic surgery, let me know and I will fly out and do it with you. :)
I have no experience with any such thing, but I believe worry and fear come with the whole parenting thing (and I believe you have mentioned this yourself). It's my opinion you're doing just fine, although it means nothing.
And let me know when you want plastic surgery tips and advice. I'll happily provide. But I doubt you'll need it.
D - first of all, all fears during pregnancy are completely normal. you're producing a brand new life. a completely brand new life. YOU. so of course your mind will wonder about all possibilities. and i mean all. not that you ever want to be normal, so i'll just say it's NATURAL.
second, i'm so sorry about your car. i know having that happen just SUCKS. period. and that car is so damn cute.
third, no worries about the picture at the plaza. really. there were loads of police. i tend to be more bold and stupid than i should be. you kept us both from getting into MAJOR trouble. i had the BEST time ever in NYC with you and can't wait to come back and do it all over again.
dave saw the pic of the frozen hot chocolate last night and said, "Jesus! you ate all that?!!" just as i said he would. HA!
love you. lots. i hope you're having a marvelous sunday.
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