So how far along are you?

I wish I could honestly say I am such and such along. Really do wish I could. But I can't. In my own estimation after trying to scrutinize the whens and wheres and how's, I have narrowed down the conception date from somewhere in between February 28th and March 30th.

Nothing like being clear huh?

I received a letter in the mail from Saint Barnabas Medical Center which is where I'd end up having this kid. They just wanted to let me know that I've been pre-admitted. Isn't that freaky? I'm pre-admitted for December 22nd. December 22nd is one of my two primary due dates. My other is December 11th. But in reality it could be as early as November 22nd. Weird. I tell you, can I never be NOT complicated?

Why do I have so many possibilites? Simple. I have a screwed up cycle. We all know this by now right? Which is why I was drinking my bring on the moon tea to return my cycles to a doable 1 month periods right? So I took my tea in early January. Worked like a charm. Took my tea in early February and it worked again. Sometime around February 28th, I had spotting. I had drank the tea the night before (because the stuff really tastes that damn good) and I figured that was the reasoning. But now - well, that could have been implant spotting....who knows. Yet I took my tea again in March and on the 15th of March I got my a very light flow (implant???). And well....sometime DURING that period I got pregnant.

So when the doctor asked me when the first day or my last menstual cycle was - my answer was "I don't know." What else could I say. He used the March 15th date. That's how we have the December 22nd due date. Yet my chart at the office says Undecided LOL. The 2nd sonogram I had, based on avg. look of a sonogram, placed me at somewhere along the lines of a December 11th due date. Which is really what I'm going with as this is the time period I want to target. I don't want the kid (and yes - this is selfish) to be born at the end of November cause my birthday is on the 26th and I'd like my birthday to stay MY birthday. And I don't want it to be born too close to Christmas cause, I know they'll be short changed having their birthday by Jesus'. So yeah - December 11th or the whereabouts would be best.

So how are you feeling?
Still largely indifferent, although clothes are becoming bothersome, and I insist that I do look much more 'chubby' then I do pregnant. I hide it, but I can feel it and I can see it and I don't like it. My arms aren't getting chubby. I'm happy about that. Just the midsection. Really need to get all my pants squared away to see what I can and what I can't wear. Putting stuff on in the morning to find it uncomfortable is rather annoying.

My inner thighs hurt. Don't know why that is, but I'm assuming it's some sort of stretching symptom going on. Oh the joy of this all. It's really annoying though cause it feels like I've run a marathon or something - but I haven't. I'm also slouching a lot at work. I sit incorrectly in the chair. I'm either hunched over, or I'm almost reclining. Yet neither position is all that comfortable. And to sit upright isn't comfortable either. Wish I could lie down. But it could be that it's not so much that I'm pregnant, but that it's Monday and I had a busy weekend. Monday is always the day I find myself MOST tired.

You're not even showing - BITCH!
Yesterday at Miggie's lingerie/wedding shower, everyone asked how far along I was. I answered either 3 months or 12 weeks. Found out this morning that yesterday was technically the start of my 13th week, but whatever. I mixed it up at one point and said 3 weeks, corrected myself to 12 weeks/3 months and got the 'look.' Odd look it is. It' says -"you're not even showing yet bitch" without using the words. But not meant in a malicious way in the least. Considering I think I look like hell - it makes me feel better to hear that I look completely normal.

I'm going to have such a hard time when I do start to really show. I was trying to explain this to someone and I don't think people realize how difficut it is for me to 'gain' weight and accept it (even though it's with a pregnancy.) I have never had any weight issues. In fact, up until I was about 19/20 years old, I looked downright sickly. I was constantly asked whether I was aneorexic. And it wasn't for lack of eating. I ATE! I just had this super duper fast metabolism. And even after 20 years of age when I finally rounded out and I finally gained weight, I still didn't succeed to get 'up there' The most I weighed at one time was 124 lbs and I was still a size 2/3. So the very thought of having to gain 25-30 lbs is surreal to me. Really it is. I worry that I won't be able to return to the size I used to be. And that I might even have to undergo an excersize regimen to get down. Not looking forward to it.

Really should take a picture to prove to everyone that I have in fact grown, albeit not all that much. Will do so soon.