It’s Friday and I’m babbling

Lenette had free VIP tickets to Disney on Ice last night and took Ari. No surprise that his favorite part was CARS but from what I understand he was in total awe and Lenette took pictures. He didn't get home until after 10pm and having had only a brief nap that afternoon there was no issue at all getting him to bed. He got 2 new stuffed animals (Lightning McQueen and Mater) which of course needed to come to bed with him. And as I expected, he woke up crying at about 3am with has his hands clasped over his ears. Totally a Disney on Ice induced nightmare.

Because of his adventure with his cousins and aunt, I took Nilsa home by myself. Rob was working a holiday party so it was just us girls. I forgot how it’s like to only have one small child to take care of. I think I was totally lost in knowing what to do as I usually serve as referee. The house was eerily quiet. And I sat there with Nilsa and tried to remember what I used to do alone with Ari at this age. I seemed to have forgotten what its like to dedicate time specifically to one child. I spend much time trying to balance the needs of both of them when we’re all together and making sure they both get their fill of mom depending on when they need me. When I run into issues where they both are tugging on my legs I came up with the idea of having a ‘group hug’ to dispel the neediness. Ari loves it as does Nilsa and we just get a big ole group hug in. Or we play ring around the rosie together. But alone, I seem to not know what to do. It’s odd and simultaneously calming to know that having the kids around really does complete my home.

Similarly, Nilsa seemed confused with the quiet in the house. She kept going from room to room which I can only assume was the search of Ari. I took the opportunity to attempt to play with my new camera as I totally don't know how to use it yet to take quality pictures. Rob keeps saying to me "read the manual" and I really should. But I'm stubborn and want to figure it out on my own terms.

Rob came home a bit earlier and with girl child quietly playing on her own we talked, and talked and talked some more. Life has been very full as of late with many obligations, and as I talked to him and realized I was getting updates on things he has done a week or more ago, I also realized that we really live together and work together to get the kids going, but right now it seems as if we’re on parallel roads. Yesterday our roads merged for a bit and it felt so good to have him actively around. It seems weird to work with your husband and to live with him and yet to not really spend any quality time at all. I need to push to revisit this more often. I miss the ‘us’ that’s lurking in the shadows of our lives.

I promise pictures will come in the short term future. For now - just my thoughts will do.