There's life beyond Arias...You just have to remember it's there

I remember talking to a client of mine on the phone not too long ago. We had done her wedding and other family events for her and she reads this blog from time to time. I spent almost an hour on the phone with her about the change that comes when you bring a child into the world and into your family. The one thing I said to her that was an enlightening thought that was shared to me by some very intelligent women on the online community I'm part of is....

Although you are now a mother and father, you have to remember that you are a husband and wife as well

I think a lot of couples do fall into this pit where they transition from a married couple to parents. It's a necessity in the first few months of the child's life in all honesty. This little person is helpless without you so you have to move into a parental role and since it's all new to you - of course it's going to overtake your life.

But children grow, and as they do it is important to remember that your role of parent shouldn't move in place of your role as a partner. The simple things you did before - be it a kiss goodnight or a random hug - should not disappear. Time alone should be relished as time alone. Attempts to have a conversation that doesn't involve the child (albeit difficult) have to be done. Your past life doesn't stop, it keeps growing and you have to be aware of that.

That being said - I am guilty of many times placing Ari on a pedestal and dancing around him without thinking of much else, except for me. And I'm not alone in this, for Rob, I'm sure, does the same (much to my bitching and whining.) But there are times, few, but hopefully more to come, when we noticeably turn from being parents and end up being the people we were/are. It's hard. The stress of life, the difficulties that can come with balancing all of what comes with us through work and such and trying hard to be parents at the same time - that leaves me with a sense of frustration at times. A longing for simplicity. And I can close off easily when things get tough which doesn't help.

So this is to us - Rob and Dianne. The couple that we are, and that we continue to be. The ones who fell in love back in 1995 and who continue on now.

That was us this past weekend at Rob's cousin's wedding. As I strive day to day to be a better parent, I strive day to day to be the wife I always was. Ari may be the light of my life, but Rob will always hold my heart.